


Find Our Way Back

by UmbraTsuki



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mid-Canon, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22783783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbraTsuki/pseuds/UmbraTsuki
Summary: For the past few nights, Roxas's sleep schedule had become lacking. Periodically, he'd wake up with nightmares about losing Axel, losing Xion, or losing both of them. ... Though they weren't supposed to feel emotions, Roxas couldn't describe the sensation as anything but a feeling. A heavy, empty, crushing feeling.Roxas seeks reassurance for his deepest fears.
Relationships: Axel & Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Find Our Way Back

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a Valentine's day gift exchange! I hope you enjoy!

_Organization XIII, ~ Day 330_

For the past few nights, Roxas's sleep schedule had become lacking. Periodically, he'd wake up with nightmares about losing Axel, losing Xion, or losing both of them. The nightmares increased in frequency as days went on, and the severity of their heaviness also grew. Though they weren't supposed to feel emotions, Roxas couldn't describe the sensation as anything but a feeling. A heavy, empty, crushing feeling.

When the nightmares surfaced, he had no idea where to turn. The first few times, he tried to brush it off and go back to sleep or move on with his day. After it got to a point where he found he had trouble breathing, though, he knew he needed to ask for help.

And who better to ask than Axel?

Roxas kept his steps as silent as possible on his way to the redhead's room. He hoped not to draw attention, especially considering that he was up wandering around in the middle of the night. Though he did need to knock on the door, he tried not to speak in much more than a whisper when he called out, "Axel?"

Luckily, it didn't take too long for his best friend to open up the door. Mid-yawn, he had opened the door slowly at first, but then all the way when he saw Roxas standing before him. "Roxas," Axel said, lifting an eyebrow. "What's wrong? You look shaken up."

"I keep... having some weird dreams lately," Roxas scratched the back of his head, one of the nervous habits he'd most likely picked up from Axel. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, sure," Axel glanced around for a moment, but then waved the blond inside. He sat on the edge of his bed and patted the spot next to him. He was never very good at these kinds of conversations, but he didn't want to leave Roxas hanging too much. "Tell me about these dreams."

"Well..." Roxas took a seat next to Axel, but stared at his feet. He didn't feel too sure about how to begin. "I keep having dreams about losing you two." He sighed. "You and Xion. It's not always exactly the same, sometimes you just disappear, or sometimes..." The word _eliminated_ ran through his mind, but he had trouble finishing that sentence out loud.

Occasionally, before, Roxas had woken up with wet cheeks and very wet eyes, and he'd never come up with an explanation for it. But his eyes started filling with water, then, and his chest felt as heavy as it always did right when he woke up from one of these nightmares. Axel had a stunned expression on his face, and it made Roxas wonder if there was something wrong with him.

"What is this?" Roxas's voice wavered, and he touched a hand to his cheek. Wet again. "What's wrong with me?"

"I wouldn't say anything's wrong with you," Axel shook his head. "You're just crying. It's something humans do when they're sad."

"Crying," Roxas repeated the word, trying to understand better. It sounded so familiar, yet so strange.

"But Roxas... you don't have to worry about losing us," Axel continued, putting a hand on Roxas's shoulder. "Remember? As long as we remember each other--"

"--we'll never be apart," Roxas finished, recalling their old conversation. "But... I'm not sure if that's enough." His "crying" continued, and he tried to wipe his face with the back of his hand. "I don't want to lose either of you _ever_. It _scares_ me."

Axel was quiet for a moment, but then he let out a deep breath. "I think a year ago, I would have called you crazy." He moved his hand from Roxas's shoulder toward his face, pausing for a moment and then using his thumb to wipe another tear from Roxas's cheek. "But I get it now. I feel the same."

Roxas wasn't sure if he felt relieved or more scared, knowing that Axel was scared to lose him and Xion too. He opened his mouth to reply, but Axel started speaking again.

"Think of it this way, though," Axel said. "Remember when we searched everywhere for Xion?" Roxas nodded in response, so Axel kept going. "It took us a while, and it was hard, but we eventually found her." He cleared his throat. "I can't guarantee that we won't get separated again, but we can always find our way back to each other. Just like that time." Axel ruffled Roxas's hair. "Got it memorized?"

Roxas laughed, then, even though he knocked Axel's hand away. "Got it."

Axel quietly pulled him in for a hug, at that point, and Roxas breathed a sigh of relief. They never said a word about these, other than when Axel explained what it was, and Roxas assumed they were best done in silence. He didn't know very much about things like this, but he did know that the sense of comfort these hugs gave made him feel like everything was right in the world.

\--

_Two weeks after the final battle..._

Despite the final battle being over, Axel opted to stay at Yen Sid's tower a few more weeks for a bit more training. Sometimes, though, he'd have trouble sleeping or wake up suddenly from a nightmare, and he always escaped back to the Twilight Town clocktower to try easing his mind. It happened more frequently than he would have liked.

This particular night involved a dream where Roxas and Xion were torn away from him again. Those types of dreams began as soon as he came back as Lea, where he'd find Roxas only to lose him again immediately. Now that he remembered Xion, the dreams included her, too.

When Axel arrived at the clocktower, the tears immediately started falling. This happened more often than he'd admit to anyone. But this particular dream had brought up feelings of guilt alongside his fear of losing his best friends again, and all he could think about was that he didn't want to ruin this again. He didn't know what other threats waited out there, but the fact that Sora disappeared meant they still had something to look out for.

This time, he cried about everything he felt when Roxas and Xion were gone, too. How alone he felt when he woke up and realized Roxas wasn't there, how desperate he felt to reunite with him when Sora was right in front of him instead, and how torn apart he felt not knowing when he'd see him again. On top of that, he'd only even remembered Xion existed when she returned, though he'd felt some sense of a memory missing beforehand. He wondered, if Roxas had been there, would he have remembered?

Plenty of time passed. Axel always lost track of time when he stayed up there for a while. Who knew how much time elapsed when he heard a few footsteps behind him, followed by a voice.

"Axel?"

Roxas's voice.

"Roxas!" Axel quickly wiped the remaining tears from his face and cleared his throat. "I'm surprised to see you here this late."

"I could say the same to you," Roxas teased. When he got closer, however, his expression turned more serious. "What's wrong though?"

"Nothing's wrong," Axel tried to force a smile. He could see Roxas wouldn't believe it, though, instead crossing his arms, so he sighed. By this point, nothing could trick him, huh? "Just having some heavy thoughts. Don't worry about it."

"Well of course I'm going to worry," Roxas sat next to Axel, then touched his arm lightly. "Why wouldn't I worry about you?" There was a short pause before he continued. "What happened?"

Axel took a deep breath. "Nothing happened, exactly," he replied. "I've just been thinking." He looked away from Roxas and out at the night skyline. "I've had a few nightmares, too, that I haven't been able to get over." He wasn't even sure how to begin, so it took him an extra moment. "After everything we've been through, I can't handle the thought of losing you and Xion again. But we don't even know what's out there, this time." Another deep breath. He spoke more quietly, next. "I don't want to lose you again."

"Axel..." Roxas moved a bit closer, unsure what to say but still wanting to comfort him somehow. "You won't lose me," he looked away for a moment, but then looked back at Axel again. "Do you remember what you told me before, when I started having the same type of nightmares?"

It took a moment before Axel responded. "It's been a while," he said, some nervous laughter coming forth. "What was it?"

"And you asked me to get it memorized," Roxas teased, elbowing Axel gently. "You reminded me that even if we get separated, we can always find our way back to each other." Roxas placed one of his hands over one of Axel's. "And it was true. We did get separated, and look at us now!"

"That's right," Axel smiled, remembering now when he had to give Roxas the same reassurance he needed now. "We did find each other again." Axel turned his hand over to wrap his fingers around Roxas's. "Thank you, Roxas."

"Of course," Roxas smiled back, then leaned forward. He pressed his lips against Axel's cheek in what he recently learned was called a "kiss." "It's a promise."

The kiss rendered Axel speechless for a moment, and his cheeks heated up as well. Where did he even learn that? After a moment of pondering, he figured it didn't matter and decided to return the favor, giving Roxas a quick peck on top of his head.

"I'll hold you to that," Axel teased.

Roxas just smiled and squeezed Axel's hand tighter. And that was all he needed to feel okay.


End file.
